Starclan Is Moving!
by SilverstarOfRiverclan
Summary: What happens when poor Starclan gets invaded by evil living Christmas tress? Bluestar is STILL crazy and off her pills! Now all of Starclan is seeking refuge with the warrior cats! What will the poor Warriors do!
1. starclan is moving!

Starclan Is Moving!

MY FIRST FANFIC STORY!

Oakheart: I have a craving Bluie-bear! A CRAVING FOR LOVE!

Bluestar: Oh Oakie-poo Stop! Starclan is about to be attacked by living Christmas trees. We have to tell all the kitties in Starclan to move their lazy buts out of the way so I can leave FIRST!

Oakheart: But why so soon?

Bluestar: Shut up Oakie-poo! K. I'm going to text all the kitties in starclan!

_**Hay gys! Wee r al movin owt'a da sky cos wee r beein atckd bi livin crisms tres! Wee r gona mov dwn were da wrrirs liv! K! Bi!**_

_**Translation**__: Hey guys! We are all moving out of the sky cause we are being attacked by living Christmas trees! We are going to move down where the Warriors live! K! Bye!_

Bluestar: Oakie-poo! Let's go! I heard the warriors have computers!

Oakheart: But Bluie-bear! I have Muffins here! An ENDLESS supply of MUFFINS! AND PIE LOTS OF PIE!

Bluestar: Oakie-poo, I'm sure they have Tangerines down there!

Oakheart: I wasn't talking about Tangerines! I was talking about Muf-

Bluestar: OAKIE-POO THEY HAVE TANGERINES! AND ALL THE PAPYAS YOU COULD EVER DREAM OF! So if you want your fruit go down there!

Bluestar Pushes Oakheart off a cloud….. Then Bluestar crouched and sprung onto

Yellowfang who was wearing a Jet pack.

Yellowfang: Bluestar! get off me you fat Lunatic!

Bluestar: Gim'ee the Jet pack!

Yellowfang: ARE YOU INSANE!? I'M NOT GIVING YOU CRAP!

Bluestar Slapped Yellowfang with her claws out.

Yellowfang: OWWWWWW! HOLY STARCLAN! TAKE THE JET PACK!

Bluestar: Thank you! Buh-Bye!

Bluestar Jumped of the cloud and pulled the string to make the jet pack fly but….nothing happened.

Bluestar: GREAT STARCLAN! YELLOWFANG!!

Yellowfang was floating down with an umbrella.

Yellowfang: HAHA SUCKER! I knew you would fall for it! Bye-bye! MUAHAHAHA!

Bluestar quickly pulled out a shotgun and shot a few holes Yellowfang's Umbrella.

Bluestar: WHO'S THE SUCKER NOW YOU ROTTEN PIECE OF FOX-DUNG CROWFOOD!

Bluestar then saw Mary Poppins floating down with an umbrella too. Bluestar laughed evilly.

Bluestar: YO! MARY POOPINS! HAHAHAHA! THE UMBRELLA!? Please?

Mary Poppins: Why I never!

Bluestar shot Mary Poppins dead. Then she swiftly grabbed the umbrella while watching Mary Poppins's limp body quickly fall to the ground.

MEANWHILE……….

The clan cats are having a day gathering because they were to busy the night before with Dance lessons, text messages, and their mates. (GROSS!)

Firestar: Ok. So I got this crazy text message last night it sa-

THUD! Yellowfang crashed to the ground and quickly stood up.

Yellowfang: EVERYONE HIDE! BLUESTAR HAS A SHOTGUN!!

Firestar: Is she STILL crazy!?

Just then Mary Poppins's dead body landed in the middle of the clearing.

Firestar: That answers that question. RUN!!

The island was a mess of screaming cats and Starclan warriors landing on the ground.

LATER………..

Firestar: I think Yellowfang was hallucinating. Bluestar wasn't there!

Brambleclaw: But how do you explain Mary Poppins?

Firestar: coincidence, I guess.

Just as they entered camp…..they stood in aw. There was Bluestar…. With a shotgun….and she was holding Foxkit….The cats that were left in camp were all bound and gagged….But Foxkit was still alive.

Firestar: Thank Starclan Foxkit is safe!

Bluestar: DON'T BE THANKIN' STARCLAN FIRE**FART**, 'CAUSE I AM STARCLAN! AND IF YOU DON'T MAKE ME LEADER THIS KIT IS MY DINNER!

Firestar: OK, OK! Swasalablaviserine! There your leader! Now you can release Foxkit.

Bluestar: AS LEADER OF THUNDERCLAN I SHALL EAT THIS KIT!

MUNCH, MUNCH, MUNCH...** BURP**…………

Bluestar: That was delicious.

Ferncloud: THAT WAS MY KIT!!

Icekit: AND THAT WAS MY BROTHER!!

Bluestar: Yes I know…And he was delicious. I wonder……

Bluestar Then ate Ferncloud and Icekit.

Bluestar: I was correct…They were equally as delicious.

Dustpelt: THAT WAS MY MATE!!

Bluestar: GRRRRRRRRRRR……..

Dustpelt: Ok I'll shut up……

Hope you enjoyed. Keep a lookout for the 2nd chp! No Flames pleez! Give me some ideas pleez! Bye!


	2. Renaming and emotional breakdowns

Starclan is moving!!

Not as good as last chp!

Bluestar: Now for my 2nd duty as leader of Thunderclan, again, I am going to change everyone's name!

Bluestar: Firestar, you will now be Firefart!

Firefart: HEY!

Bluestar: Oh shut up! Now Sandstorm your name will be Sandwich!

Sandwich: Oh, NO YOU DIDN'T!

Bluestar: OH YES I DID! On with the naming! Ok, Squirrelflight your name is now Squirrelpoop! HAHA!

Squirrelpoop: YOU'RE SO MEAN!

Bluestar: Thanks for noticing! Dustpelt is Dustpan.

Dustpan: WHAT!?

Bluestar: you are now Dustpan. Gosh pay ATTENTION NEXT TIME! Leafpool your name is Leafdisease.

Leafdisease: That name doesn't make any sense!

Bluestar: Of course it does! Leaf disease is a disease where you grow leaves! Now, Brambleclaw is Bramblesnickers!

Bramblesnickers: That doesn't make sense either!

Bluestar: I think snickers are yummy! Don't criticize THEM! Cloudtail is Cloudpotatoes.

Cloudpotatoes: What!?

Bluestar: potatoes look funny! Now Brackenfur will be named Brackenkraken!

Brackenkraken: What's a Kraken?

Bluestar: a rollercoaster.

Brackenkraken: What's a rollerco-

Bluestar: DO NOT QEUSTION ME! Sorreltail is Sorrelbutt.

Sorrelbutt: WHY?

Bluestar: It's a Joke get it…SORE- el-BUTT!

-Crickets-

Bluestar: whatever…I LOVE chicken Tahiti's! So Anyway, Brightheart is…Brightcolors.

Brightcolors: but I am not colorful!

Bluestar: I don't seem to care what you think do I? Ashfur… I've got the perfect name for you…you are now known as Ashtray! Hooray!

Ashtray: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Bluestar: YEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS!! Spiderleg is Spiderman.

Spiderman: why?

Bluestar: because I feel like naming you that! Brook is Brook the crook! Crook for short!

Crook: awwww man!

Bluestar: Moving on! Stormfur is Stormshelter.

Stormshelter: CRAP!

Bluestar: Whitewing is Whitecoconuts!

Whitecoconuts: HUH?

Bluestar: 'coconuts' is a fun word to say! Birchfall is Birchmallow!

Birchmallow: No Way!

Bluestar: Yes Way! It reminds me of marshmallows! OH GRAYSTRIPE WILL BE FUN TO NAME! Graystripe will be Grayhair.

Grayhair: Why me!?

Bluestar: because you have the perfect beginning on your name. Millie is going to be Allagonza!

Allagonza: My name is nothing like Allagonza!

Bluestar: Well your Allagonza anyways! Ferncloud is Fernfrills, No comments Fernfrills. Daisy is Dollop. Longtail is Longtangerines. And Mousefur is Mousedung! HAHA I named Mousedung after an insult!

MEANWHILE…………..

Down in the dark forest of Hellclan………………..

Tigerstar: We must leave the dark forest.

Hawkfrost: Why? I like it down here. I get to eat tangerines and papayas!

Darkstripe: Yeah! I like it here too. Even though I HATE tangerines and papayas! I like cooking and cleaning and watching 'queer eye for the straight guy' on TV.

Tigerstar: But now is my chance!

Hawkfrost: Chance for what?

Tigerstar: To LOVE Firestar! That evil Bluestar named him Firefart! But he smells so sweet; he does not smell like farts! He will be mine!

Hawkfrost: WHAT!? You like HIM!? Bluestar is the HOTTEST! She likes tangerines and papayas!

Darkstripe: GROSS! Every cat KNOWS that Blackstar is the ULTIMATE HOTTIE!

Tigerstar: Everyone else is leaving so we should leave too! Now LETS GO! HELLCLAN AWAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY!!

They all said the Hellclan thingy and flew out of the dark forest.

MEANWHILE……………

Riverclan, Shadowclan, and Windclan came to join Thunderclan.

Bluestar: WHY!?

Leopardstar: because Yellowfang ate catnip and called the evil penguins.

Bluestar: What did the 'Evil penguins' do?

Leopardstar: Destroyed our camp.

Bluestar: What happened to you Shadowclan?

Blackstar: A giant pack of fruit snacks ate our pajamas.

Bluestar: Oh. What about Windclan?

Onestar: We have too many starclan cats, and they won't fit in our camp.

Bluestar: Just get in the camp!

All of a sudden, The Hellclan cats came down from the sky on their flying swing sets!

Tigerstar: YAY! We're here! OH Firebuns!

Firefart: What?

Tigerstar: I knew one day we would be reunited! I love you so much! Your fur is like cotton candy! It is sweet and luscious!

Firefart: What the Hellclan!? Get off me! We're enemies!

Tigerstar: Not any more Firebuns! I am tired of masking my feelings for you!

Bluestar: Tigerbaby! How could you!? We were in LOVE!

Oakheart: Tigerbaby? Bluie-bear! WHY!? Why did you love him behind my back!?

Bluestar: Dunno? Tigerbaby NO! Don't you love me!?

Hawkfrost: NOOOOOOOO!! Blueberry! I loved you!

Oakheart: HIM TOO!? HOW MANY BLUIEBEAR!? HOW MANY TOMS!?

Bluestar: Hawkfrost? You…..Love……………………….Me??

Hawkfrost: YES my darling!

Bluestar: I'll never be your darling! I'm Tigerbaby's….Right Tigerbaby?

Tigerstar: NEVER! Firebuns is mine FOREVER!

Tigerstar gave Firefart a big hug.

Firefart: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Sandwich: HEY! TIGGERstar! Firey-pie is MINE!

Tigerstar: Since when!?

Sandwich: Since I had his KITS!

Tigerstar: Firebuns! YOU WOULDN'T!

Firefart: OF COURSE I WOULD! SHE IS MY MATE!

Tigerstar: -sob sob-sob sob-

Firefart: Aww man….Tigerstar….. You know I hate to see you like this.

Tigerstar: -sob sob- it's….OVER!!

Firefart: what's over? Nothing is over.

Firefart put his arm over Tigerstar.

Tigerstar: DON'T TOUCH ME! –Sob sob- IT'S OVER…..BEETWEEN US!

Firefart: no, no, no. shhhh don't cry tiggy. Your gonna make me cry. –Sob sob-!

Firefart looked at sandwich with a look that said 'I am going to pretend to be his mate so he won't cry'….. Then sandwich nodded and let him do that.

Firefart: I'll be your mate.

Tigerstar: Firebuns? Is this true? Really!?

Firefart: Yes.

Tigerstar: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!

Bluestar: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Oakheart: YEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!

Hawkfrost: YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!

Oakheart and Hawkfrost growl at each other and start fighting.

Blackstar: NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Darkstripe: YOU LOVE HIM!? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Sandwich: OOOOOOOOOOOOOKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK! Awkward!

Spottedleaf: HI PEOPLES!

Sandwich: YOU! STAY AWAY FROM MY FIREY-PIE!

Spottedleaf: HES MINE!

Tigerstar: HES MINE…HE EVEN SAID SO!

Spottedleaf: Fire-snug? Is that true?

Firefart: Yes.

Spottedleaf: NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Sandstorm: YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!

Tigerstar: YYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!

Bluestar: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Oakheart: BLUESTAR NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Hawkfrost: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BLUESTAR!

Oakheart: RRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRRR!!

Hawkfrost: AaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaaA!! Blueberry save me!!

Bluestar: NEVER! Tiger-baby!! –Sob sob-

Hawkfrost: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!

Oakheart: RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRRRR!!

Firefart: tiggy!

Tigerstar: FIREYBUNS!

Bluestar: TIGERBABY! –SOB SOB-

Oakheart: BLUIE-BEAR! –SOB SOB-

Hawkfrost: BLUEBERRY! –SOB SOB-

Blackstar: TIG-TIG! –SOB SOB-

Darkstripe: BLACKIE-BOO! –SOB SOB-

Then a giant tribe of blueberries came.

Blueberries: What PUSSIES!

Other Blueberries: I always hate emotional scenes!

This was a tiny bit strange. It wasn't that funny. I try to make it better next chapter. Next chapter may be out tomorrow, or in about 5 days! Thnx 4 readin!


	3. Twizzlers, Spies, and Lolipops!

Starclan is moving!!

Tigerstar:Oh isn't today just lovely Firey-snacks?!

Firefart: absolutley GROGEOUS Tiger-licious!

sandwich glares at the two love birds..._I think firestar is going to far with this whole mate thing..._SUDDENLY_..._

Bluestar swacks sandwich on the head with a twizzler!

Bluestar: meow!

Sandwich: OWWWW!! did you just hit me on the head with a twizzler??

Bluestar: I suppose i did...

Sandwich: A twizzler?

Bluestar: yup...

Sandwich: why?

Bluestar: you called Firefart firstar.

Sandwich: how do you know that I was thinking that in MY head!

Bluestar: Haha! So you admit it!

Sandwich: No i did not! I was kidding about my thought stuff!!

Bluestar: oh my bad...I better go get my super secret spy gear in shape...cuz i am a secret spy...

Sandwich: Really??

Bluestar: No!

Hits sandwich with twizzler

Bluestar: i am as much of a spy as your firestar thoughts I know they are true! GOOD DAY TO YOU SIR!

Sandwich: but i am not a guy!!

Bluestar: you are now...

_bluestar thinking: she will never know...SUPER SPY!_

Sandwich: I can't be a guy! Ugh! Oh yeah firest-

looks over at bluestar

Bluestar: I'm listening to EVERY WORD...hehehe.

sandwich gulps and shivers then searchs for firefart.

Sandwich: hehe...I mean I have to find Firefart.

Bluestar quickly runs over.

Bluestar: Thats better.

sandiwich: How did you get here so fast?

Bluestar: Cuz i am a SPY!

Sandwich: Really??

Bluestar: No you Mousebrain!

Hits sandwich with a lolipop

Sandwich: OWWWWWW! wheres the twizzler!

Bluestar: i ate it...bye.

Bluestar runs off. Sandwich then goes to find firefart and tigerstar.

Tigerstar: Oh I need help snuckums!

Firefart: What is it scrumples?

Sandwich came and secretly hid in a bush...

_Sandwich: Scrumples??_

Tigerstar: I can't do a duet for the clans ALL ALONE!

Firefart: I can sing it WITH you!

Tiger and fire together: YAY!!

Tigerstar and Firefart walk into the center of the clearing...

Tigerstar: Gather round! listen to our song!

Firefart: yes pleez do listen!

They both took a deap breath and...

fire and tiger: I like chicken I like liver meow mix meow mix makes me bigger! meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow I like chikin i like liver meow mix meow mix pleez deliver! meow mewo meow meow meow meow meow meow meow me-

Bluestar: THATS IT...

bluestar pulled out her shotgun!

Bluestar: one more meow and i blow a cats whiskers off!!

Rosekit and Toadkit: MEOW!

Dollop of Daisy: SHUTUP!

Bluestar: THATS IT!

bluestar then aims at...

A) Toadkit

B)Rosekit

C)No one

find out next part...


	4. Mutiny,French fries, and 1st of alls!

Starclan is Moving!!

Bluestar aims gun at...

DUSTPAN!

Dustpan: AHHHHHH!!

BANG!!

Rosekit: WAAAAAAAAAAA!!

Toadkit: COOL!

Dollop of Daisy: Oh SHUSH!

Bluestar: MWAHAHAHAHA!! Take it in...all in!!

Firefart steps through the big crowd of cats...

Firefart: We have ALL had ENOUGH of you Bluestar!! Right Guys??

Everyone: YEAH!

Bluestar: oh would you like me to put you out of your misery then??

Everyone looks at eachother...

Random cat in crowd: Actually only Firefart has had enough of you we are fine with you!

All cats: Yeah!

Firefart: fine then! Its just me!

Tigerstar steps up...

Tigerstar: Me too!

Hawkfrost holding a blueberry steps up...

Hawkfrost: Me and sabrina too!

Everyone stares at Hawkfrost...

Bluestar: Whos Sabrina?

hawkfrost holds up his Blueberry...it was wearing a ring...

Hawkfrost: we're engaged! So Bluestar... Are you jealous now?

Bluestar: NO I AM NOT YOU PIECE OF NASTY CROWFOOD FLEABAG!

Hawkfrost: very well then...

hawkfrost stomps off...

suddenly a lonely french frie walks in...

Lonley French frie: I'm so lonley...

Dustpan: you won't be lonleh in MA BELLEH!

dustpan eats him...

Dulstpan: Num num Num num...ewww...PITOUIE!

Dustpan spits out the poor french frie...

Dustpan: I can see why your lonley...your stale!

Lonley french frie: Words hurt ya' know!!

runs off crying...

Bluestar: I just killed you Dustpan! How did you get here!?

Dustpan: This is where Starclan lives now!

Bluestar: Oh patato peels!! Anyway!

BANG!!

Tigerstar: Firefart NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Firefart died...

SUDDENLY!

Thud!

Firefart: It is a TOTAL MESS of Crhistmas Trees up there!

Bluestar: Yeah! I know right! We totally connect!

Tigerstar starts to growl...

Tigerstar: No he's MINE you mate stealer!!

Firefart: Yeah! I will only love Tigerstar!

Sandwich and Bluestar: WHAT!?

Sandwich: First of all I am your mate and i thought you were only pretending! Second of all Bluestar Loves you too!?

Firefart: No I was not pretending and Bluestar Loves ME!?

Tigerstar: Of course he wasn't pretending and Bluestar will have to go through ME to get to FireSTAR!

Bluestar: First of all couldn't you tell he wasn't pretending, Sencond of all, mabey i have a TINY TINY crush but I won't tell you because i am a spy, Third of all...

Bluestar throws a tootie roll at Tigerstar!

Hawkfrost: First of all, Bluestar Likes Firefart!? Second, My wedding is next chapter!

Tigerstar: First of all, she won't tell us cuz she is a spy, second so is me and Firefarts wedding and why did Bluestar throw a tootsie roll at me?!

Firefart: First, I AM GETTING MARRIED TO YOU TOMMORW?? YAY,second,bluestar threw a tootsie roll at you because you called me Firestar.

Sandwich: First of all, You ARE NOT getting married TOMMORW or the day after the end of the world!

Tigerstar: First, What about the ay after the end of the world??hmmmm?

Lonley french frie: First of all alls, I HATE DUSTPAN! Second of all, stop saying of all third of all, I WILL HAVE REVENGE !!

Dustpan: first of all, you are a french frie and i was hungry so i ate you! then You were stale and i spit you out! there!

Lonley French frie: Hmp...EXACTLY!

lonley french frie leaves.

Dustpan: I hate fast food...it is SO stubborn!

Lonley French frie: I heard that!! You are SO UNCOMPASIONATE!! WAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

Firefart: wimp.

Lonley french frie: WWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAA!! STOP IT! STOP IT! STTOOPP IT!!

**next chp. coming soon! comment pleez! next chp will be SOOOOOOOOOO exciting! Meow 4 Now!**


	5. Weddings, Objections, and I'm Baaaaack!

Starclan is Moving!!

Firefart: Hit it Cloudpatato!

Cloudpatato spanks brightcolors on the behind!

Brightcolors: OWWWWW!!

Firefart: never mind!

Tigerstar comes up behind Firefart wearing a wedding dress.

Tigerstar: Fire-snucums! look at my gorgeous wedding dress!

Firefart: You know that its bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding Tiger-boo!

Sandwitch glares at them evily then swiftly dissapears behind a large coconut.

Firestar: Okay, hit it cloudpatatos...

Cloudpatatos lifts his paw to smack brightcolors, and brightcolors tries to protect her booty...

Firestar: No no no! hit the piano!

Cloudpatatos hits the piano and it breaks...

Cloudpatatos: I DIDN'T DO IT!!

Cloudpatatos thought _I'll take refuge in a twoleg nest...they'll NEVER find out about the piano! WEEE!! HEH HEH!_

Firefart: let's just sing it then! Ready, SING!

Bluestar falls out of a pillowcase in her PJs.

Bluestar: HEY! I SAY WHEN YOU SING!

A few seconds go by.

Bluestar: now you can sing!

Every cat starts meowing the wedding song

All cats: Meow meow meow meow. Meow meow meow meow. Meow meow MEOW MEOW meow meeeow meeeEEow!

Firefart: He's beautiful!

Tigerstar walks down asile in prettyful wedding dress. Soon Tigerstar reached Firefart.

Bluestar: Do yo-

Firefart: since when are you our preist?

Bluestar: How many times will I have to say this...do...not...QEUSTION ME!!

Bluestar starts to growl...all of the cats shrink back.

Firefart: a-a-al-r-r-ight.hehe...heh.

Bluestar: gooooood. Now do ya' really like this son of a fox?

Tigerstar: HEY!!

Bluestar: you shut up or I'll eat you next!

Tigerstar: Yes mam'.

Bluestar: So...Firefart...take im' or leave im'?

Firefart: Oh, I take him very very very much! Yes! i do! oh I jus-

Bluestar: SHUT UP!! Tigerstar do you REALLY want this motor mouth? Cuz' once you get him he WILL NOT...SHUT...UP!!

Tigerstar: ummmm...Yes!

Bluestar: any objections?

Sandwitch opened her mouth but then...

Hawkfrost runs in.

Hawkfrost: WAIT!! Me and Sabrina are ready! Isn't she gorgeous!

Tigerstar: You know it's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding...

Hawkfrost: I don't believe in superstitions.

Tigerstar: Don't say I didn't warn you.

Bluestar: anyone else?

sandwitch opens her mouth yet again but then...

Jaypaw runs in. With his stick...uh oh.

Jaypaw: me and my stick are getting married! I realized i just couldn't live without it! it's scratchs are what made me fall for it...it's just so unique!

Bluestar: ANYMORE?! HMMMM?

Sandwitch: Yes! I love Firfart! He can't marry Tigerstar!

Firfart: Why not?

Sandwitch: Cuz' he's a GUY!!

Bluestar: I made YOU a guy last chapter...remember!!

Sandwitch: Oh...yeah...back to the drawing board.

Sandwitch pulls out her blueprints and put them on the drawing board.

Sandwitch: hmmmmm...Ah ha! you won't stand a chance!! MUAHAHAHA!!

Everyone stares at her as she backs into the shadows.

Bluestar: Okay if there are more objections I won't take anymore...so everyone just sit down and SHUT UP!

Lionpaw: but I have to pee!! really badly!

Bluestar: i don't really care! wet your fur, I don't mind!

Lionpaw wets his fur. Everyone looks at him crossly.

Bluestar: You FOWL...THING! just wait until it's my dinner time... I do fancy apprentices... Oh I should give you a warrior name! how about... Lionfurwetter! Serves you right...

Lionfurwetter: ugh...I hate this clan.

Bluestar: Anywhoo...does hawkfrost like the blueberry?

hawkfrost: She has feelings...and a name ya' know!

Bluestar: FINE, do ya' like the "cat" named "Sabrina"?

Hawfrost: yeah.

Bluestar: Sabrina...ummm...this is so dumb...do you like this guy?

Sabrina: ...

Hawkfrost: Shes just thinking...heeheehee!

Sabrina: ...

Bluestar: ummmm...

Hawkfrost: SHHHHH Bluestar...oh by the way are you jealous NOW?

Bluestar: NO YOU FATZO!

Hawkfrost: fine then.

Sabrina: ...

Someone coughed in the clearing and it echoed around and broke the scilence.

Firefart: Shes dead.

Hawkfrost: Nuh uh! Don't say such things! here just let her think, come back to us.

Bluestar: Whatever...gosh he is pitiful...Jay...warrior name...ummmm...Jaygirlygirl...haha...do you looooove your stick?

jaygirlygirl: oh YES!

Leafdisease: NO YOU CAN'T! Your a MEDICINE CAT!!

Jaygirlygirl: Starclan thinks I am special so i can love my stick! haha! i am right!!

Leafdisease: You are lucky...don't worry though...i'll find somthing...

Bluestar: Suuuuuuuuuure you will...well does the stick love you?

Jaypaw holds stick up to his ear.

Jaypaw: ...uh huh...Yay! She says yes I lubb him too much!

Bluestar: ugh...okay then you may now lick the bride!

But then a shadow appears on the hill. it's THE FRENCH FRY!

Lonley French Fry: I'm baaaa-aaaaack! HA...HA.

END OF CHAPTER 5...CHAPTER 6 COMING SOON!


	6. Family,Plushies,and The Blind Cat!

Starclan is Moving!

Lonely French Fry: Your ALL going to pay for what Dustpan did to me!!!!

Bluestar: WHY?! It was HIM not US!

Lonely French Fry: Because you all raised him from kit hood to cat hood and he learned his horrid ways from all of you!!!

-All the cats in the clearing look around at each other-

Bluestar: What are you talkin' about WE didn't raise him...he was adopted!

-All cats Gasp and speak amongst each other-

Dustpan: WHAT?!?! Why didn't anyone tell me?!

Bluestar: We didn't feel the time was right...

Dustpan: Then who is my mother?!?!

Bluestar: Let me check....

-Bluestar pulls out laptop and goes onto the Warriors website. Looks at the family tree tab for Warriors: first arc-

Bluestar: Hmmm...it says right here that you are quote "not connected to a current liniage"...HAHA so there is proof!

-All the cats gather around laptop including the lonely French fry-

Leopardstar: HEY!!! look apparently Tigerstar was adopted too!!!

Tigerstar: But,but,but....I HAVE WARRIOR BLOOD!!!!

Ashtray: Well,we can't be to sure about that now...can we!

Tigerstar: -sob sob- ITS ALL A BUNCH OF LIES!!!

-Firefart comforts Tigerstar-

Firefart: Its ok...my love for you isn't a lie Tigerstar...

Tigerstar: and thats all that really matters...

-Sandwich notices the two tom cats, and out of anger spurts out...

Sandwich: Firefart was adopted too!! SEE! -Points at screen-

Bluestar: Nice going smart one... I was the one who adopted him REMEMBER, sheesh, and I thought I was an old she-cat...oh wait, my bad YOUR AN OLD TOM NOW!!!

-Sandwich growls-

-Bluestar was about to meow when another cat cut in...

Greyhair: DARKSTRIPE TOO! We adopted him!?!

Darkstripe: Is that an insult???

Greyhair: It is if you think of how YOU want to steal MY mate!!!

Darkstripe: wait a second! I love Blackstar not Millie...I mean Allagonza!

Greyhair: Shhhhh...

Allagonza: Excuse me?!

Greyhair: Oh Hi -GULPS- dearest!!!!

Darkstripe: You love BLACKSTAR!

Allagonza: I knew you could never love me more than Silverstream--wait did he say BLACKSTAR?!

Greystripe: no....

Drkstripe: yes...

Silverstream: someone called my name over here?

-Silverstream looks at the three cats-

Silverstream: Well, out of you three,I would asume it was Greystripe.

-Bluestar runs over and smacks Silverstream upside the head-

Bluestar: GreyHAIR greyHAIR greyHAIR! When will you guys learn to call a cat by their REAL name!!!!!????

Silverstream: but that is his rea-

Bluestar: NO ITS NOT!

-Silverstream stares at Greyhair-

Greyhair: uhhh...yeah it is Greyhair...

-Looks at Greyhair comfortingly-

Silverstream: oh its alright...I still love you...

Allagonza: I KNEW IT!!!!

Darkstripe: You missed your chance to get him back Silverstream...

Silverstream: What are you talking about?!

Darkstripe: Blackstar has his heart now...

-Silverstream stares in shock at Greyhair-

Silverstream: YOUR...GAY???

Greyhair: uhhhh....yeah....

Allagonza: I KNEW IT AGAIN! Its true!!! I'm no more than dirt!

Darkstripe: you got that right...hey wanna be my mate?

Allagonza: BUT YOUR GAY!!!

-Darkstripe looks at Greyhair-

Darkstripe: Well then, how about you, your gay too...

-The lonely French fry walks on top of a hill-

Lonely French Fry: THATS ENOUGH!!! We know enough about our ancestors now lets get a move on here!

-Lonely French Fry snaps his fingers-

Lonely French Fry: Ahem...DIE KITTYS OF INDIFFERENCE!!!!!

-Suddenly a mass of flying stuffed animals come soaring over into the camp and shooting gumballs and fluff at the clan cats-

Bluestar: WE MUST FIGHT!!!!

-Firefart digs his claws into a plush beaver-

Firefart: our claws can't defeat their evil cuddliness!!!!

Bluestar (while trying to fight of a beanie baby): I could care less about you right now Firefart!!!!

-Jaygirlygirl is fighting the air since he is in fact blind and has no clue what he is hitting-

Jaygirlygirl: I have discovered their ultimate power!!!

-All the cats listen while continuing to battle off the toys-

All cats: What?!

Jaygirlygirl: They can turn INVISIBLE!!!!

Lionfurwetter: YOUR BLIND YOU DUMB CAT!!! THERE IS NO ENEMY IN FRONT OF YOU, YOU JUST CAN'T SEE THAT!!!!

-Lionfurwetter wets his fur while punching a stuffed hippo-

Lionfurwetter: Aw crap....

-Lionfurwetter runs off to the dirtplace to take a shower and change his fur-

Tigerstar: MY WEDDING DAY IS RUINED!!!!

-Tigerstars fur catches fire-

Tigerstar: RAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWR!!!

-All the cats stare at Tigerstar-

Tigerstar: NO ONE RUINS TIGERSTARS WEDDING DAY! AHHHHHHHHH!

-Tigerstar starts swinging at every stuffed thing he sees-

Bramblesnickers: Thats what I call a Bridezilla!

Firefart: I love it when he gets angry....raaaawr....

-Sandwich glares at Firefart, jumps on top of him and claws him to shreds-

-The flaming Tigerstar hits a stuffed grey cat-

Leafdisease: NOOO! THAT WAS CINDERPELT!!!

-Cinderpelt catches fire-

Leafdisease: AHHHHHH! NO CINDERPELT! I'M SOOOOORRY!!!!! -sob sob-

Bluestar: You stuffed Cinderpelt?! I thought we buried her!!!!

Leafdisease: I have a shovel you know! Its called grave digging!

-Bluestar shivers-

Tigerstar: Even my flames of fury won't damage these creatures!!!

Lonely French Fry: YOU'LL NEVER STOP ME!!!!

-Toadkit runs over to a plush mouse and gives it a big hug-

Toadkit: i LOOOOOOOOOOOVE YOU!!!! it is so fluffy mommy!

Dollop of Daisy: Drop it Toadkit!!!!

-The plush mouse explodes-

Toadkit: -eyes start watering- mousey...-wails-MOMMY I KILLED IT!!!!! I AM BAAAD!!!! -starts crying harder-

Dollop of Daisy: -eyes sparkle- NO NO NO! YOU are VERY GOOD!

Toadkit: say what???

Dollop of Daisy: EVERYONE START HUGGING THE PLUSHIES!

Jaygirlygirl: OK!!! -starts running with his arms wide open-

-Lionfurwetter walks out of the dirt place with a towel on and black fur-

-Jaygirlygirl runs into Lionfurwetter and gives him a HUGE hug-

Jaygirlygirl: HA-HA! Your invisible powers have worn off! NOW DIE! MELT! MELT! MELT! Melt you furocious plush creature of DOOOOOOM!

Lionfurwetter: THE FREAK!?! GET OFF ME YOU FLEE BAG!

Jaygirlygirl: Oh, so NOW your talking HUH? Tell me...WHO IS YOUR LEADER!!!

-Lionfurwetter tries to wiggle out of Jaygirlygirl's hug-

Jaygirlygirl: I'LL HUG HARDER!!! NOW SPIT IT OUT!

Lionfurwetter: I AM YOUR BROTHER...LIONFURWETTER!!!!

Jaygirlygirl: AW SHAT-AAP!!! Now tell the truth! -squeezes harder-

-Lionfurwetter wets his fur-

-jaygirlygirl feels the water run down his own leg-

Jaygirlygirl: Trying to unleash some magical liquid of some sort onto me are you??? WELL ITS NOT WORKING!!!

Lionfurwetter: -sighs- ugh...fine my leader is the Lonely French Fry..happy now???

Jaygirlygirl: Stay RIGHT HERE!!!!

Lionfurwetter: Its not like you can SEE me run away!!!

Jaygirlygirl: -gulps while thinking _this plushy is ONTO ME!_- ummmm....course I can you...you FOOL!!! NOW STAY! remember...I am WATCHING your every move.... -shakes his paw threatningly in a fist-

-After Jaygirlygirl runs off blindly Lionfurwetter gets up and walks back into the dirtplace for another shower-

Lionfurwetter: I REALLY hate this clan...-closes shower door-

Because of length this story had to be shortened into 2 parts!

KEEP WATCH FOR PART 2!!!


End file.
